Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
