My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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