you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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