Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
