CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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