My hand turned me down
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
