your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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