I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
