Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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