google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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