That's intense
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
