just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
