No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
They have beer where we have blood.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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