Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
