Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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