There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
