is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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