I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
