Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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