Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
