Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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