Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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