im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
