I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
