I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
