Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
