dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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