You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Randomize
