chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
