My friends, they love my intelligence
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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