Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
