Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
