is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
