I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
