I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
