I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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