Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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