just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
