you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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