i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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