You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
