if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
