were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
