literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize