so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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