I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
