The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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