Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
