just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
