I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
