my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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