summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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