I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
